Saying goodbye is never easy. We agonize over making the final decision to put a beloved pet to sleep and often it is for selfish reason that we drag it out, trying to off the inevitable.

Yesterday I buried a tiny kitten, one I’d worked hard for over two months to save. Although he was pushing five months, JD was tiny, the size of an eight-week-old. He had megaesophagus, very rarely seen in cats, which caused him to vomit up anything he ate. Due to his condition, he was slowly starving to death despite my efforts. In order not to prolong his suffering, as constant hunger is surely that, we felt it was time to end his pain.

Everyone who came in contact with JD fell under his spell. In his last week, even a team of four veterinarian techs volunteered to nurse him along in the hopes that he would somehow grow out of his birth defect. Living in a vet’s office was not going to cure him, and with heavy hearts we let him go to the Rainbow Bridge, a place from the famous poem (author unknown) written for those who have lost pets. www.petloss.com/rainbowbridge

We all cling to hope because we don’t want to grieve. The loss of a pet seems tragic because of the animal’s childlike innocence, and the hole left in our hearts at their passing is huge. Even the emptiness in the house is felt by all family members, including any animal behind.

Surviving four-legged housemates grieve along with us, so keep an eye out for signs of mourning and any changes in behavior. It may take a couple of weeks before calling and/or searching for their missing companion stops. If a pet has died at home and the others have seen the body, they will accept the death much more gracefully than we.

Quality of life should be the deciding factor, not the void in our hearts which will heal. When an animal is ill or hurt, they hide their pain in nature’s protective way.

I have been told and have observed it in person that, shortly before death takes an animal, they experience a rush of adrenalin and seem to be miraculously healed. My Dodo, always hungry, hadn’t eaten in three days but suddenly demanded food again the day before he left me. His brother before him had been very ill and lethargic until one day he suddenly became kittenish again. The next day he barely moved and it was time. I’ve even seen it in kittens, lying in my arms barely breathing then struggling to their feet in a last ditch effort to cling to life.

You will know when it is time for both of you to let go. It is up to us to be the strong, sensible ones and help them out of this life with love and gentleness.

This brings up the question of where. Should it be in the vet’s office or at home? Of course this is a personal decision, but it’s nice to know that we have options as there are mobile vets available who will come to your house.

Our precious pets never seem to live long enough. What helps me through my grief is knowing there is another homeless kitten out there who needs my love and attention, and a window has just opened up for him. Filling the void with new life can be very healing and a wonderful way to honor his memory.

If you are not sure you are ready to make a new lifelong commitment, consider fostering a single or a litter to see how the household reacts. There are so many cats in need of homes, why not open up yours. You may be pleasantly surprised and find a new fuzzy love in the meantime.

New website makes giving FREE: AdoptAShelter is a fantastic new website where you can “adopt” a favorite animal non-profit group while shopping online. It costs you nothing, you don’t have to register or sign in, and the vendors you visit send a percentage of your purchases as donations to your chosen charity. All your favorite stores are there, so please visit this site and hopefully choose Catalyst for Cats as your pet project.